my dear...

my dear.. today's is 18 of january. and at about 3 month and few days, that we've know each other, but siyesy.. i feel like its a very long time that i know you. yes, we have a very strange love story chronolgy. but i have to confess that you are the kind of guy that i've been looking for all this life. i have met so many guys before, but of course they seems to be different like you. yes, to be truth. i am so into you right now. my love, my heart, my everything is just for you and i dont feel regret of having that kind of feelings towards you. however.. i feel regret of myself.

my dear...
i am really sorry for everything. you came to me when i was sick, we build our love nest when i am still sick, we have a date when i am still sick, part of our moment is just a miserable situation. most of the time i mean. but you still standing here beside me and do anything just to make sure i could be fine. you know how much i appreciate that??? you still want me to be your wife even you know everything about my weakness. oh my....

i am barely feeling so weak when i think about you... how dissapointed am i because of myself. i tried to get rod of it but sometimes i cannot stand it. i feel upset when i see you playing and kiss your beloved niece.. putri.. i feel guilty when you talk and talk about our future, i feel lost when you said you will love me till the end of your life. syg.. i am scared.. terribly scared and worry about everything, i always wanted to make you feel the happiness of having our own happy family. i really wish i could give you that, but i am afraid i cannot do so... oh my.....
i really love you, but...